


We move on like this

by sunnysideup



Series: We move on like this [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, Light Angst, M/M, OFC - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:56:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4814057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnysideup/pseuds/sunnysideup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A comment on Christmas Day 2016 takes Liam and Zayn on a journey to family life. </p><p>The characters I've tagged are all mentioned but its very predominantly a Liam and Zayn fic with 3 original characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It started like this

**Author's Note:**

  * For [anecdotalist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anecdotalist/gifts).



> I'm very nervous about posting this. It took me far too long to complete and this idea took me far too long to come to. I loved all the prompts and have an idea for a couple of them but this came easiest so I hope it’s even just slightly worth the wait. 
> 
> The POVs will be Liam and Zayn. I’ve done some research on adoption in the UK so it’s hopefully fairly accurate.
> 
> There’s no smut here sadly as I’m still useless at putting my filthy thoughts into writing. I’m going to smut school to learn how to write it well so it may make an appearance soon till then am leaving it to the experts on here. 
> 
> Big thank you to Gabby and Louise for your support and encouragement.

25th December 2016 - Zayn

There’s laughter and the clinking of glasses ‘Cheers’ is the shout that fills the room. Zayn takes a long sip from the wine glass peering over the top of it and taking in everything around him.

The table or tables nudged together take up the length of the large living and dining rooms. Waaliyha sitting in between Ruth and Doniya hand raised quickly to her mouth, squealing with delight at whatever Ruth is showing her on her phone. 

Karen reaching across the table with a cracker gesturing to Trisha who sets down her glass and tugs at the cracker, the pop ringing in the air.

All around him family. And then there’s Liam who’s currently deep in conversation with a very serious looking Safaa as he tries to decipher the gadget they’d got her from some ridiculously overpriced shop when they were in New York. 

It’s these moments that his love for Liam is at its strongest, although of course if pushed, any version of Liam is one that Zayn adores. He’s not even remotely ashamed of it.

‘Close your mouth Zayn’ comes the sound from next to him. ‘We know you think the sun shines out of Liam’s arse but not at the dining table eh?’

Yaser sounds serious but the smile on his face dispels the momentary worry and embarrassment Zayn may have felt in an instant.

‘Leave him alone eh Yas, young love’s great isn’t that right Liam?’ Geoff teases and Liam looks up from the gadget.

‘What?’

‘Ignore ‘em babe’ Zayn urges as Safaa clears her throat not so subtly and gestures impatiently at the gadget Liam’s still holding and with a brief smile at Zayn, Liam’s attention turns back to it. 

‘That lad’s got the patience of a saint with Safaa’ Yaser pauses ‘actually make that your other sisters and all your cousins too’ Zayn’s about to agree but his dad’s not finished apparently ‘he’ll be a great dad one day, you both will’.

And just when he thought his dad couldn’t surprise him anymore, well, apparently he can. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Yaser pats his knee and nods.

‘Something to think about maybe?’

And well yes actually it is. He and Liam are only 23 and it still feels like they’re living life at breakneck speed sometimes. 

No longer with One Direction perhaps, the idea of it in the future a little way off they’ve all agreed that, but each of them living busy lives. Louis currently riding the crest of the wave of a successful pilot show of a new music talent search show on ITV. Harry about to release his first solo single in the spring of 2017 and Niall having done a tour of various sporting events while tweeting lyrics he’d written here and there on his twitter feed and videos of him singing while playing his guitar on his Instagram is about to record his own album.

And then there’s Liam and him. And that’s where it gets dizzying. That so much can change in what’s been a year or so of stress at times, many times. Frustration, interminable waiting and then heights that even in his wildest dreams he couldn’t have hoped for.

Zayn’s first single making it to number 1 in the UK and number 3 in the US and various places never below number the top 10 at its peak all over the world and his album making it to number 1 in time for Thanksgiving in the US and marking its place he’d been told under so many Christmas trees had been amazing. 

That Liam’s the go to songwriter at the moment that 2 of his songs he penned alone and then co-produced have made it to number 1 in the US already, that his first solo single will be released next year and that they’ve had the go ahead to record one of the songs they co-wrote in 2014. 

That it feels sometimes like this rollercoaster has been so high for so long that the only way is down and yes he knows and he’s heard Liam’s words and he really knows, he doesn’t need telling twice how the lows hit him before and that yes he, no THEY, deserve this and yet. 

What he’s worried about he’s not sure of. He tells himself its natural to feel nervous and Liam is that one who constantly unpicks the knot in his stomach and it works mostly and it stays undone for the most part, it’s just sometimes he wonders what he did to get this lucky and he just doesn’t want to push it anymore.

They came out in May. And it felt like the biggest news in the world for all of 5 seconds. And he’s grateful. It almost felt for a moment like everyone was going to turn round and say ‘oh we knew that anyway’ They didn’t but they’ve been allowed to carry on, yes there’s the odd negative comment here and there both online and in person and in the industry but in general they’ve carried on as before, the only difference is that they don’t have to visit the supermarket separately now, that Sophia and Perrie are memories that are fading and that they can do trivial stuff like follow each other on Instagram and like each other’s pictures. 

They’re both endlessly amused by the fans who are constantly asking for pics on Instagram but they decided a long time ago that when, it was never an 'if' even in the darkest days, they did come out, their relationship wouldn’t be one that would be endlessly documented. Well he’s kept to that side of the bargain but Liam he knows has at least 3 pictures in one of his folders right now of Zayn sleeping with some ridiculously sappy caption ready to go.  
So it falls to Zayn to distract him. He’d like to pretend it’s exhausting and that he’s long suffering but well he’s always been shit at acting so he accepts the burden if you can even call it that cheerfully.

They divide their time between LA and London as needed, and each place feels like home. Their oasis of calm in their homes, well calm until family and friends descend, calm until Louis and Harry and Niall and Andy or whoever shows up to torment them and the animals. But that’s no difference from before. Their easy routine, comforts that they find in each other and yes it’s been fleeting moments at times and they’re like ships that pass in the night once every few weeks especially since the autumn with their careers but it’s different now, without that stress of being found out anymore and it wasn’t till that morning after they came out that they realised that they’d holding their breaths internally for so long in case it all tumbled out before they were ready and now that they’re breathing free, now that there’s no more catching their breaths or calling each other ‘girlfriend’, sometimes he forgets but each time he remembers, it’s like the moment you smell spring in the first time and he knows that sounds so naff but he doesn’t really care anymore.

And yeah, so they are only 23 and perhaps children is the biggest step they can take, even more so than coming out, you can hardly compare them he knows, but it feels right and yes he knows there’s complications and issues to consider and that’s before they even start any adoption process but well even though he’s only allowing himself to think it now, he knows it’s been lurking since the first time he saw Liam’s face light up at the sight of Lux calling him by his name for the first time or the way Brooklyn smiles whenever Liam walks into the room. The way he felt when Caroline asked them both to be godparents for Brooklyn. He knows it’s what he wants. And he thinks he knows it’s what Liam wants and he’s gazing at Liam who lets out a triumphant ‘Yes!!’ and shares a high five with Safaa and they chatter excitedly while Trisha looks on proudly at Liam first then catches Zayn’s eye and she nods. 

Trust his mum to know.


	2. It starts to happen like this

16th September 2017 – Liam

He fiddles with the cushions on the settee for the 11th time in 5 minutes. Hears Zayn’s chuckle behind him and considers for just a moment flinging one of the cushions in his direction before realising that’d defeat the object of tidying up the settee in the first place.  
Instead he turns around and readies his sternest expression he can muster but as always his resolve fails itself the moment he lays eyes on his husband. And boy does that word feel both magnificent and unfamiliar in his head. 

All done and arranged in a matter of weeks and without any fuss or fanfare much to Harry’s protestations and no doubt OK! And Hello will complain when word gets out, they’re both surprised the word hasn’t gotten out there already. 

So a quick ceremony with just their nearest and dearest with them and then all back to their place for curry en masse courtesy of Karen and Trisha and a banoffee pie made by Harry, who else? And cupcakes made by both Liam and Zayn’s sister accompanied with a 2 tier cake with models of Liam dressed as Batman and Zayn as the Green Lantern holding hands on top of it. 

A week spent back on the Virgin Islands bringing back all those memories from 2014, just the 2 of them this time though and then home to have the final preparation class before the Social Worker came. Today. 

And it’s wrong to say that he’s in wedded bliss now, he hasn’t noticed the difference. As Niall’s said countless times before, they’re both as domestic and married as they were the moment they met really. 

But now, today, as he faces Zayn ready to launch into a tirade of ‘stop stressing me Zaynie’ words fail him and instead for about the millionth or multi millionth time probably just today, he feels overwhelmed and he actually has no clue how he got to be this lucky in his life.  
How he’s achieved so much in his career, how Zayn has, both of them hotly tipped for the upcoming Grammy nominations in separate categories. 

How he can be stood here, calling Zayn of all people his husband. How he knows that the common perception is that Zayn had hungered for him for so long and Liam was some gormless caveman type who had no clue what was staring him in the face.  
And yet, if only they knew, that this all began right from the start. And that it was a mutual decision to try and put their thoughts to the back burner. An attempt to be mature about something that felt so certain and felt so right but they both dismissed. Well intentioned? Yes Fearful? Maybe. Destined for failure? Absolutely. 

And browbeaten undoubtedly by Cowell and all those people around them. The ones that loudly crowed about how they cared for Liam and the other four. When in actual fact they were plotting the bearding from the earliest days. 

All five of them know that at any time they could blow the whistle. They have NDA's of course but more importantly for now it feels easier to go along with the lie and the consensus and so that day when they announced they’d been in a relationship for some time, they’d been as vague as they could. It actually didn’t matter to them that the fans had the timeline all wrong. They knew. That’s all that counted.

But all that, the moment they came out, the moment he got the phone call saying the song he’d written and produced was number 1 in the US at the first attempt, his solo single exceeding all expectations, the moment he and Zayn got the go ahead to start producing a plan for a side career as a duo, even all that pales next to the moment Zayn had cornered him in Karen and Geoff’s kitchen last Boxing Day and asked him if he’d ever thought about being a Dad. 

And the strangest thing, it wasn’t a surprise. They’d never actually spoken about it even when Caroline had asked them to be Brooklyn’s Godparents which of course had been and still was a secret that it was both of them, it had never come up. Even when Liam had been lost in thought and lost in love for both Brooklyn and Zayn as Zayn scooped Brooklyn up and chattered away to her and let her draw on his arm. Even when Liam spent all the time in the world off stage and pre gig reading stories to Lux and he’d catch Zayn smiling at him from across the room. Even then it never came up.

His reply to Zayn on Boxing Day was simple. Words always are. The actual deeds and the thoughts not so much. And it had taken a month of raised voices, rare for them, and doubts combined with anxiety combined with excitement and all this while they pretended that this wasn’t happening. That they weren’t about to embark on the journey that would mean if they got their wish, they’d no longer be just tied to the animals but to actual living small humans. 

Thing is it should’ve scared Liam and it did. And yet throughout Zayn was resolute. And that’s what convinced Liam. It felt like Liam was propelled through the doubts by Zayn. That when they were separated by Zayn recording in LA and Liam at home writing and vice versa, that late at night when all Liam’s doubts came to the surface, Skype would signal an incoming call or a text would show on his phone with Zayn there with complete conviction in his words, that this was right for them and they could make it work. 

And then when they were together, one night in bed, with Zayn whispering those positive thoughts in his ear, he turned to face him, put a finger to his mouth to shush him and whispered ‘I’m ready’.

That wasn’t a lie. Then. Nor were the conversations they had as they read the information packs, nor were the preparation classes they attended where everyone had looked stunned as they walked into the room. Nor were the conversations with an increasingly excited family around them or the talk of whether they wanted a boy or a girl, turned out that they both agreed it didn’t and doesn’t matter, not to them. But that was then.

And this is now. And the words die on his lips as he goes to chastise Zayn. Zayn’s hair is the longest it’s been since 2014. Slightly wavy and he’s unshaven for a couple of days. He’s wearing a white shirt, unbuttoned at the top but not so far that you can see the wings. And then a pair of black jeans and then the piece de resistance of a pair of batman slippers and he’s such a dork. The best most fucking handsome dork around. Though Zayn argues with him passionately about that frequently. Apparently Liam’s a bit dorky too. And yeah the passion, well he’s probably best not going there minutes before the Social Worker arrives to assess their suitability as potential parents so he files that thought away for later. The best thing Zayn has ever worn has always been that smile, the one he’s wearing now, the relaxed totally at ease and amused, constantly amused and delighted by Liam smile. 

It’s like looking in a mirror he imagines. They’ve always been each other’s refuge. Each other’s sanctuary. A home from home. Right from the start. And it now feels as though nothing ever made more sense than for them to open that sanctuary to others. Because Loki is ridiculously affectionate and Rhino is the soppiest dog ever born on this earth but it’s still not complete. 

The clock chimes and it pulls Liam from his reverie, from being lost in Zayn. And Zayn’s about to speak when the sound of the intercom rings out from the gate. 

And Liam looks at Zayn who raises an eyebrow. ‘You ready babe?’ And he reaches with one hand to the handset to let the Social Worker through and with the other to Zayn and he takes a breath. They can do this, it’s meant to be.


	3. It Moves on like this

11th January 2018 – Zayn

He pulls the coat closer into his body as he leaves the terminal building heading to the car blowing a breath out into the cold winter air. 

He nods at Jimmy the driver and shakes Preston’s hand, glad to see a familiar face even though he’s dog tired. He climbs into the car and rests his head for a moment against the head rest. Preston jumps into the front passenger seat and the car pulls away.

He pulls his phone from his jeans pocket and swipes to unlock it and presses a couple of keys and then holds the handset up to his right ear. 

At the sound of the voice at the other end, he smiles ‘Hey babe, just left the airport, should be 20 minutes, any news?’

‘Welcome home baby, well given its just turned 6am, no there’s no news yet, chill out eh?’ 

Zayn peers at his watch. Oh shit yeah. ‘Sorry Li, did I wake ya?’

Liam lets out a throaty laugh. ‘Not a chance Zed, you know I never sleep when I know you’re flying somewhere and then with it being today, been up for hours’

‘I bet love, listen I’ll see you soon’ and he presses the red end call button and sighs. Trying to relax. 

Zayn knows. Exactly what Liam said. Of course he does. For the last few days, the tension has built steadily. He thinks he’s done a fairly alright job of keeping up the pretence he wasn’t tense but he knows he probably hasn’t. 

Today they find out whether they’ve been approved by the Adoption Panel, today they find out whether their lives will be changed forever and whether into their world will come small feet and small hands and Zayn has tried his best not to think too hard about it since the assessment and the panel or to imagine he and Liam forming their own family unit but he knows they’ve both failed there.

This whole journey has been an exercise in trying not to let huge emotions run away from them or allowing their hearts ruling their heads. It’s brought with it stress and arguments unlike any they’d had in their relationship. And Zayn can’t even explain why or remember the content of the arguments. Just stress probably. And it’s just been a bit surprising he thinks that for all the shit they went through in the years of the beards when, oh yeah there were arguments. Monumental ones at times, they were soon eased by the need to comfort each other, the need to realise that the only thing that mattered was each other, and that letting management and all those forces destroy them was just plain fucking stupid and terrifying, so they didn’t.

So why they’ve been like they have has been something of a mystery to Zayn. ‘Stress does that to people’ is what Liam keeps saying and he’s right of course. It’s been a time where the need and a want for something that runs through each part of Zayn and Liam and the fear that try as they have to present themselves as a partnership worthy of having a child or children entrusted to them, it might not be enough. It’s been something terrifying. The nightmares, living as well as sleeping where they’re on one side of the room and there’s 1 or sometimes 2 children on the other side of it and then the human stood behind one of the children looks them up and down and shakes their head and then they disappear. You hardly need to be some kind of dream expert to figure out what that means. And he knows Liam has experienced the same but as Liam’s also reminded him daily, it’s not a competition.

But the longing to be able to have the chance to take uncertainty away from a child or children is something he craves. And to attempt to convince their social worker, the panel, everyone who raised an eyebrow when they talked about what they were wanting to do that even with their lives, as busy as they were, that they could commit to it, it’s taken more out of them than either of them would care to admit even to each other. 

One thing never changed though, that when the silences got too stifling; the only person they would find their sanctuary in was each other. And each time he or Liam complained to a family member or to their friends, to the other 3 lads. The answer and the advice would always be the same ‘go find Liam/Zayn*delete as applicable’ swiftly followed in the case of Louis at least with ‘you two are idiots, go find him, hug him and then come back and hug me for being right again’ 

And Caroline. All that she is to them both. Never mind the times she supported them both in the early days. Never mind that she’d held his hand and had his back the multiple times the shit around him and against him got too hard. Never mind that she’d asked him and Liam to be godparents. Never mind that the moment Zayn left, she never questioned anything for a moment, just nodded her head, whispered in his ear and kept that promise she’d made the first time she held him as he cried as the exhaustion became too much to bear.

And well, never mind? Cos that’s bullshit, he does mind, he absolutely does. He minds because Caroline agreed without hesitation to provide the reference for him and Liam and he knows that she spent days over it. And he trusts her and it’s never been anything other than so important to him. Their friendship. He knows he’s said it so much about Louis, Harry and Niall and Ant and Danny about them being brothers and he’s never not meant it, because its true but its Caroline who has been so there for them, who trusted in them with Brooklyn and she’s always shrugged it off with a ‘oh fuck off Malik you sentimental bastard’ but when it’s been swiftly followed by that Caroline hug that she doesn’t offer to absolutely everyone, he knows its mutual and she’s his family as much as anyone that’s blood. 

The car slows and they’re moving up the drive to he and Liam’s home. And he’s suddenly calm, sort of. They can’t even control what’s to come today. A phone call or a visit. They’ve been told it could be either depending on what Hannah their social worker has on her workload today.

But at least they’re together. For whatever’s next.

He jumps out the car as soon as it stops and there’s Liam, smiling and shaking hands with Preston and shouting a cheery ‘Hiya Jimbo’ who gruffs out ‘how the fuck is he so cheerful in the morning and its Jimmy to you, you cheeky bastard’ 

And well yeah, same Jimmy. Liam in the mornings and Zayn in the mornings. Well, they do say opposites attract.

And attract they do. He takes in Liam as he engages with Jimmy in the most ridiculous and juvenile banter and there’s never anything better than being with Liam day after day anyway but the Liam he sees after a few days away, it’s like someone’s discovered that the sun shines for the first time because that’s what Liam is to him. Sunshine with no shade. Just lightness.

He’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a white Henley, of course. It’s one of Zayn’s favourite Liam outfits and it’s become a tradition. The fact that he never spends more than 5 minutes still in the clothes by the time they are in the house and barely up the stairs is immaterial. He looks incredible, the curl in his hair more noticeable these days l, the beard recently trimmed but still there, when Sophia’s contract finally ended and she left their lives, Liam had shaved it off, it was a moment to savour sure, but within days, Zayn had texted him and confessed he missed it. The multiple emoji’s consisting mainly of Santa’s beard in response confirmed Liam did too and he’d probably not even be that ashamed to admit that he could write a song in its honour if pushed. 

There’s a cough which distracts Zayn from his thoughts and Liam’s there. Zayn hears the car pull away but his attention is firmly on his husband. He feels himself smile at the sound of that in his head. Still surprising. Still amazing.

‘Did you miss me Liam?’

There’s a smirk on Liam’s face, and Zayn doesn’t miss the moment that Liam bites his lips. ‘Let me show you how much’ and he’s reaching a hand into the back of Zayn’s belt and pulling him towards him and fuck he needs a Nobel prize or something or a sainthood,

‘She could call at any moment, or visit us Li, plenty of time for all that later’

Liam’s pouting. ‘I only wanted to kiss you’

‘Yeah yeah course you did, anyway, you need to save all your energy for tomorrow, that birthday shag you promised me’

‘Yeah and what if I was only thinking of you, you’re 25 tomorrow Zed, who knows how knackered you may get overnight’

‘It’s a good job you’re sex on a fucking stick Liam Payne’ and he reaches for the hand that’s still in the belt of his jeans and pulls it his mouth planting the softest of kisses on it. Liam sighing as he does so and yeah fuck he needs all the medals in all the world for not dragging Liam into the shower right now.

‘Besides, not only have you promised me the birthday shag to die for, we’ll need to save our energies for the celebrat-‘he shuts up as a finger meets his mouth.

‘What did we say, no counting our chickens’ and yeah he remembers and well.

‘Sorry yeah, good point’ and then Liam’s reaching for his hand and pulling him to the house where Loki and Rhino are waiting and yelping and as Liam’s hand leaves his and he bends down to greet the dogs, he realises as much as he loves LA and the sun, nothing says home quite like entering the warm of this house, smell of jasmine and sandalwood in the air and the photos that adorn pretty much every wall in the house. Except in 2 rooms. Unspoken as to why, no need to explain.

And then Liam’s back from the kitchen, two mugs in his hand, one offered to Zayn which he takes and then they head into the living room, the tv’s on, some breakfast channel apparently discussing the merits of cucumbers as a beauty aid and he’s about to reach for the remote to turn it off when Liam’s there before him and as he does so, Zayn sinks into the sofa, the spot that’s his, the shape of his part of the sofa clear to see and suddenly the journey catches up with him and then there’s Liam who reaches for the mug that’s in Zayn’s hand, and takes it from him setting it on the table and Zayn mutters a sleepy ‘thank you babe’ as Liam softly kisses the top of his head and they mold into one another.

‘You sleep baby, I’ll wake you’ and so he does.

3 hours later

‘Zayn, Zaynie, Zed’ and he feels like shouting only that feels like it’ll take way too much energy to do so that yes that’s his name, before he realises who it is and he’s not 12 and being told to get up for school like how his dream abruptly ended and he cracks one eye open and there’s Liam, hand caressing his face gently just like always when he wakes Zayn up.

‘She’s just texted us, she can’t come see us but she’s phoning us in 10 minutes’ and if they only could see Zayn now, anyone who’s ever complained that it’d take an earthquake to wake him and then get him up quickly in the morning. Well maybe the prospect of being adoptive parents can be added to that oh so small list now.

He sits up and Liam’s passing a new mug of tea into his hands and Zayn sips at it, no matter its still boiling.

‘You okay babe?’ He whispers. 

‘Mhmmm’ is all the response he gets and so he sets the mug down and links hands with Liam. 

‘If it’s a no, there’s plenty of other options love, we won’t give up’ 

And he totally gets why Liam doesn’t look at him but half nods. And they sit in silence, hands still entwined listening as the clock on the mantelpiece ticks round to 10.00am and then its there, Liam’s batman ringtone and they look at each other for a moment, half smiles on their faces and Liam touches the phone speaker turned on.

‘Liam, Zayn’ and he wonders if Hannah knows the power she has over people. Their fate. Their happiness. If she does, she carries it with sensitivity.

‘Good flight back Zayn?’ and he responds with a bright ‘Yes’.

‘Are you ok Liam?’ And Liam doesn’t answer initially until.

‘Not really Hannah, shit scared as you might expect’

‘I get it lads, listen I’m not going to beat round the bush, the panel had some serious concerns about your lifestyles, or should I say your careers and how that affects your lifestyles BUT and before you go off the deep end and panic, the references we received, well they only had to read through the first one, Caroline Watson, and they were sold and you can thank Paul Higgins and Patrick O’Brien too. That and the commitment you both made to be based here in the UK for the first 12 months and the time you’ll take away. And well I’ll send you the report and I will come and see you in the next couple of days, cos well we need to get you to sign some stuff before we look at the adoption register and get a couple of very lucky kids to carry on the rest their lives with you’ there’s a pause then ‘oh and happy birthday for tomorrow Zayn’.

And Zayn doesn’t know how he expected to feel. And apparently Liam doesn’t either. 

‘You okay?’ Asks Hannah. ‘I’ll say it again, you’re going to be parents, and I just know you’re made for it, congratulations’.

He feels the strength of emotion in the squeeze of his left hand in Liam’s right and he just about manages to get out the words ‘Thank you Hannah, thank you so much’ and apparently Liam’s speechless and so Hannah ends the call with another promise that she’ll see them within a couple of days and that’s that.

Their lives changed just how they dreamt it would be in the matter of a phone call that lasted less than 5 minutes and he doesn’t realise what he’s doing really when he pulls Liam up off the sofa and he’s pulling him up the stairs and Liam’s grumbling ‘Now’s not the time love’ but then instead of walking into their bedroom, he’s pulling him left and to the end of the landing and the two doors either side of them, and Liam’s reaching out a hand to the door on the left and they both enter it. 

There’s a small desk with a chair and a little bed, too big for any adult and a chest of drawers and then there’s crayons and it’s a blank wall, no childish patterns or wallpaper on there, just crayons begging to be used. 

And then he’s tugging Liam to the other room, and there’s a bunk bed and a box of toys and if the answer had been no, Zayn doubts they’d have entered these rooms until they kept trying and trying till someone said yes.

But they didn’t say no, and soon this house won’t be just them, 2 dogs and a lizard, soon it’ll be children’s laughter and it feels real and yet no it doesn’t until there’s lips on his and a soft and gentle kiss and he responds and for a moment they’re both lost in the kiss and each other.

Then the lips pull away and Liam leans further into him, his breath hot on his right ear. ‘Happy early birthday Zaynie, you’re going to be a Baba’.

And well there’s not much that can be said to that so he lifts his lips, kisses Liam on the cheek and whispers ‘and so are you’

And it really does start like that.


	4. They meet like this

16th May 2018 – Liam

He reaches a hand across to rest on Zayn’s knee, an attempt at grounding them both he guesses. Zayn’s leg temporarily stops moving and he offers a smile. Liam has a lump in his throat and the butterflies are busily fluttering around his stomach. 

It’s all led up to this day. Everything that’s gone before. The phenomenal ups and those devastating downs. Number 1 hits here there and everywhere, awards of every type, shape and description, Grammy nominations for them both though no wins,, then marriage, then separation while they built their solo careers , the prospect of their first duo album and just sharing it all together. 

Except today was the realest step they’d encountered in this latest journey. When the photographs would come alive. 

Where all their homework, would hopefully…. Maybe….nah screw it, it would definitely pay off. The hours spent on planes no longer wasted watching some naff action film or The Dark Knight for the 1200th time though both Zayn and Liam agreed that was never a waste while Paddy would roll his eyes good-naturedly, instead, for the last months each journey they made was one accompanied with books, the books that had been provided on a list by Hannah and books that Zayn had found while lurking on various adoption forums and websites, so many books they could probably start a library with them, when not immersed in the writing of a song or recording, they would be found engrossed, writing notes, texting each other at 2am in the morning if they were apart with something important, something they felt was significant. And really for something that Trisha had described as something that could never be defined in a book, the upwards of 15 books they’d each read was doing its best to dispel that line of thought. 

Normally right now, they’d be reaching for a cigarette, inhaling and releasing the tension with each drag but well, despite all that they’d encountered over the years, few things had tested them than them both giving up smoking at the same time.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, a sensible idea. The wisest thing to do as new parents to be. And it had been one of their commitments too. Liam had even been a little blasé, he was no chain smoker. Not in the way Zayn was anyway. And yet, he’d arguably been the worst. 

Louis had been far too amused by their tetchiness. Grating on them both deliberately. 

Liam was never one for snapping, his moods were a slow burn, not like Zayn was but each minor disagreement with each other or each little prod and dig from Louis, no matter how playful, led to well if not a whole display of fireworks then at least a few firecrackers and no amount of patches on their skins helped. Nor did the electronic cigarettes. 

All that won out was time, and threatening to strangle Louis multiple times. 

Right now though, he knows he’s not alone in wanting to get straight in the car and drive to the nearest garage for 20 cigarettes. He could probably inhale the whole packet with how stressed and keyed up he is. The excitement of recent weeks a distant memory.

Today was the first introduction visit you see. Hannah was bringing the two children, their children and that felt unfamiliar in his brain never mind if he said it to anyone else to meet them for the first time. The welcome to our lives book had been given to Hannah to give to the children a month ago. Just to explain a little bit about their lives. 

Niall’s suggestion of ‘Just send them a subscription to Tumblr or any of the tabloids’ hadn’t been received well though he had a point. 

Or Harry’s suggestion of ‘just sending them our entire back catalogue’ which as Andy had not so helpfully pointed out could make sure that the adoption approval was revoked to which Zayn had cheerfully told Andy to ‘go fuck yourself’.

‘I hope you aren’t going to use that language when your children are around Zayn Jawaad Malik’ to which a sheepish Zayn had stood up, muttered an apology and hugged his just arrived mother. 

But no, instead Zayn had taken charge and what followed was a 30 page pictorial history of their lives so far, well an abridged version anyway and pics of the dogs and what would be their bedrooms. Not that the youngest child would take it all in anyway but it demystified the process/took away a fear of the complete unknown or something is what they’d read in one of those many books. 

Hannah had seemed pleased. But that’s all they’d heard. That and the names of their 2 children and 1 picture of each of them... Why 2 children? ‘Why not?’ had come Liam’s response on the day they sat with Hannah and on the day they’d sat in front of the adoption panel.

And yes 1 child may have been, well as obvious as it seemed, half the trouble, but when Liam and Zayn had first begun the journey, everything they read, every website they looked at talked of siblings who’d either been separated or who were waiting so much longer for a family who’d take them both.

That had been enough to convince them to consider at least that they could be the people who could take them. They knew it’d be hard, they were under no illusions and yet it felt right and more importantly it felt achievable, something that they could handle. And yes, they’d have to rely on family a bit but they were at the stage in their careers where taking a complete back seat wouldn’t be a complete no no, and ‘why did we bother getting all the studio stuff in the house Liam if we don’t use it?’ had been Zayn’s argument and well, no arguments from Liam.

And luckily the panel had agreed and within the next few minutes they’d be meeting Oscar who was 6 and Andrea who was 3. Brother and sister. Their mum who’d been fine till Andrea’s dad had discovered a taste for hitting women and she’d turned to drink. 

It had been fine till she’d discovered drink was a stress relief. Till the day she’d gone to the off licence in her car having already had a bottle of wine, leaving her children alone and had wrapped her car around a tree. 

Andrea’s Dad didn’t want to know and Oscar’s dad? No one know. The kids weren’t orphans but they may as well have been.

4 foster homes and just over 2 long years later and they’d still been no closer to finding parents. Then he and Zayn came onto the register and well right now all the thoughts and earlier bravado of how he and Zayn would be more than capable of taking the role of parents to Oscar and Andrea were in a pile of mush he felt he could almost reach out with one foot and kick at.

But back then on glimpsing their faces peering into the lens, big eyes, albeit Oscar’s framed behind glasses, dark hair, and skin that looked translucent to the touch. Andrea, also dark haired with curls, freckles on her nose and cheeks, olive skinned with a half grimace/half smile framing her face.

They’d been the first children online, one of few matched to them and the ones that as soon as they’d seen their faces, they’d known. And here they were. Today. 

The buzzer of the intercom for the gates interrupts his thoughts and Zayn’s hand reaches for Liam’s that’s still resting on his knee, and squeezes. 

Liam releases his hand, standing up and moving over to the handset and presses the button letting Hannah and their new family through.

Zayn faces Liam, and they’re silent. This right here, right now is the last moment their lives will ever be just about them. Whatever else is to come, it all changes from here. And the atmosphere is suddenly heavy with the meaning of that. 

Liam crosses the room to grab Zayn’s hand again. And their eyes lock. Softest of smiles exchanged. And as they move as one towards the front door kicking away one of Loki’s toys, the dogs are with Geoff and Karen, the best idea everyone felt for the first two visits at least Liam allows himself the confidence that it will be alright.

They reach the front door as the sound of the car doors being slammed shut reaches their ears and Liam opens it. Brightest smile at the ready.

Hannah’s talking ‘Oscar, wait there while I go get Andrea’ and there’s Oscar. He’s thin, but not overly so and Liam’s pleased, no make that overwhelmed to see that he’s wearing the Batman t-shirt they sent across with the ‘welcome to our lives’ book and a pair of jeans and a pair of black and white trainers. He’s holding onto what looks like a colouring book and some pens in the other hand and well, as Liam casts a sidelong glance to Zayn, his smile is unmistakeable.

Before he can say anything, Zayn’s hand parts from Liam’s and he’s walking out the door and the few feet away from it where Oscar stands. Oscar doesn’t look up. His eyes fixed to the driveway.

‘Y’alright mate?’ Zayn crouches down till he’s on the same eye level as Oscar. ‘Do you like colouring?’ 

Oscar says nothing. He fidgets with the colouring book in the one hand and scuffs one foot on the ground, biting at his lips. 

‘I love colouring’ continues Zayn ‘in fact I’ve got a whole room in our house where I just colour the walls’

Liam’s not sure if his eyes are deceiving him or not but he’s sure he sees Oscar’s eyes flick upwards to meet Zayn’s. Just for a moment. And he’s silently willing them both on.

‘In fact we’ve got 2 rooms in the house and one of them’s going to be yours to paint the walls with whatever you like on there’ Liam winces at that, even though the foster parents will have been preparing them, they’d been told to go gently with the idea they’d be living with them initially. But Liam knows what Zayn’s doing.

Oscar definitely moves his eyes to meet Zayn’s. Its only for a minute but honestly Liam feels like he’s just scored a hat trick at Wembley in the FA Cup final for Wolves, or okay, laid on the assists for all 3 goals given this is all Zayn’s work. Effortless work so it seems, though he knows it’s anything but as he sees a smattering of sweat appearing at Zayn’s forehead. 

Then Oscar’s moving his hand that’s holding the pens and adjusts his glasses slightly but he overcompensates and the pens are falling from his hand and scattering to the floor and he lets out a small gasp.

‘It’s alright Oscar, I’ve got ‘em’ Oscar makes a small sound. Not a cry exactly but it’s an unhappy noise. ‘

‘You okay if I look after them for you?’ Oscar’s studying him. ‘Make you a deal mate, if you let me look after your pens, I’ll show you where you can start drawing on the walls’ 

Come on Oscar. The mantra in Liam’s head right now. 

Oscar turns around and looks in the direction of Andrea and Hannah. Hannah has wrapped a seemingly sobbing Andrea in her arms. And he’s biting his lips and seems genuinely torn.

‘This is Liam’ and Zayn’s pointing at him and he’s never felt so inadequate in his life as he waves, warmly he hopes. ‘He’ll look after Andrea, and so will Auntie Hannah, they’ll bring her straight up to the painting room too’

And Oscar’s tilting his head, and then he’s speaking and it’s a quiet but confident tone. ‘Can I draw superheroes?’ 

‘Course you can Oscar’ and Liam’s sure the smile on Zayn’s face is a mirror image of his own. 

And then Oscar’s nodding in the direction of the pens which Zayn hurriedly picks up. ‘Come on then mate’ and he’s leading Oscar to he front door of the house. Oscar just sparing a momentary glance for his little sister. 

Zayn reaches his hand out to Liam’s left shoulder and he squeezes it just for a moment, a ‘good luck’ whispered on his lips. A ‘you too’ whispered in reply.

And then it’s just Liam, Hannah and Andrea and neither of them have budged thought at least Andrea’s crying has eased. 

He pads over softly to where they’re now sat against the wheel of the car. And he sits down next to the car, next to Hannah.

There’s not even the slightest attempt on Andrea’s behalf to look at Liam, instead she folds herself in tighter and into a comfortable nook on Hannah’s body. He can barely make out her facial features. 

And Hannah’s speaking to her. ‘It’s okay Andrea, Liam’s nice, he’s going to take care of you’ and Liam murmurs his assent. 

But Andrea’s shaking her head at something and the tears are back. They’d been warned about this. And it’s silly and selfish and irrational he knows but he feels like a failure. Perhaps he should have bought the bunny rabbit after all. 

And its then that he remembers. ‘Wait there’ he mutters and he’s dashing inside and heading to his jacket he had on yesterday and the purchase he’d made in the fancy dress and party ware shop and they’re there and he hurries back outside again.

It’s getting colder, the sky turned grey so he acts quickly and with a little bit of help from Hannah who’d told him what Andrea’s favourite animal was, he’s crafted what actually looks nothing like a bunny rabbit from the finger puppets he'd bought though he employs all his best iCarly skills to demonstrate that’s what it is by introducing the hopping movement and that actually yes it IS a rabbit Andrea. 

And he also feels like a tit for expecting Andrea to pick up on his silliness right away. But for a moment she stares at him intently, measuring him almost, and he’s sure his eyes are deceiving him but the corners of her mouth seem to move upwards a little. 

‘What’s your second favourite animal then?’ he asks her encouraged a little and that’s it the corners of her mouth move downwards and the moment is gone and he wants to sigh but not in Andrea’s company so he simply shrugs at Hannah who offers a smile.

And a whispered ‘it’s perfectly normal and so’s your reaction’ 

‘Oh wait, she’s asleep’ and it feels like the most natural thing in the world to him when he says ‘well then she’d better go up to her bedroom then to sleep then’ and he instantly chastises himself. Too much too soon. 

But Hannah’s nodding. ‘I think you’ve been impeccable so far and I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day’ and with that she’s stood up, but then bending over to pick up a fast asleep Andrea. As she carries the small child as Liam leads the way into the house. She stops him with one hand on his left arm.

‘It’s going to be okay, it’ll work out you’ll see’ and she sounds reassuring and right now he doesn’t believe, but he has to believe it’s going to be okay. They didn’t come this far to fail now and it’s with that he smiles, finds the strength and hell if winning Andrea over takes time, that’s what they have.

He turns around, shuts the door and well it had to start somewhere.


	5. Their world shifts like this

29th June 2018 - Zayn

 

He runs a hand through his hair, the other rubbing at the dust gathering in the corner of his eyes. Crossing the kitchen, he flicks the kettle to boil it, then opens the dishwasher reaching for the 2 mugs. He sets them next to the kettle and then turns round leaning against the kitchen top, gazing up at the clock on the wall he sees its 6.12am. 

In that other world that was life before the last 3 weeks when Oscar and Andrea came to live with them, this time of day was something that neither he or Liam encountered unless they’d been working through the night on music or coming in after a night out.

It was the one thing that was true in all the nonsense that was passed off as fact during the years in the band. They were both night owls. Still are. And yes, Zayn struggled hardest with getting up in the morning but they all did, it just felt less like hard work to argue against it, though fighting to not roll their eyes felt harder. 

But this time of day was becoming ever more their reality. A combination of interrupted sleep particularly for Andrea and just this overwhelming fear sometimes that they’d forget something, that some golden rule of parenting would be broken by them.

The kettle clicks as the water boils and Zayn turns back round to pour in the water, adding a teabag to each one and a dash of milk and extra sugars for them. They’ve been knocking back way too much sugary tea and even coffee this last week. Probably another reason why they find it hard to get to sleep and stay asleep.

He lifts the mugs off the counter and trudges back up the stairs. Before he heads back into their room, he stops and turns left walking towards the bedroom with the bunk-beds. Oscar had decided and told Zayn and Liam very matter of fact that he and his sister would be sharing their room on their second introduction visit. That had been the first time they’d seen Andrea smile. 

They’re fast asleep. Andrea in the lower bunk, a rudimentarily constructed little protection gate to stop her falling out of bed created by Geoff, clutching onto her Robbie the bunny rabbit and Oscar in the top bunk, left leg hanging over the side of it and snoring very gently.

He turns his back out of the room and shuffles back to their room, setting down his mug on the table on his side and moving round to Liam’s side doing the same.

He’s still asleep, facing Zayn’s side of the bed, hand reaching for Zayn’s pillow. Under his eyes are black smudges, evidence of the tiredness he knows he exhibits himself. 

Zayn pads back round to his side and removes Liam’s hand gently from the pillow, then puffs them up a bit so he can sit up, then as he sits on the bed, he reaches with his left hand for Liam’s forehead, stroking upwards onto his hair, and Liam’s face screws up slightly in his sleep, and he mumbles.

‘Li’ he murmurs softly. ‘Liam’ he tries again, this time moving his hand lower to cup Liam’s chin and this time, Liam’s eyes move slightly, fluttering and then he blinks them open, momentarily disoriented until his eyes settle on Zayn’s and the smile appears instantly, even though he’s only half awake.

Zayn moves his body onto its side so he’s lying down facing Liam. Liam mumbles something.

‘Speak up love’

‘What time is it?’

‘You don’t wanna know’

‘I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know now would I’ and he’s pouting and Zayn just wants to kiss that pout off his lips so he does.

Liam makes a sound. Not an entirely happy sound and Zayn pulls his mouth away.

‘What’s up babe?’

‘We’ve got 2 children in a room just along the landing and you’re testing me, s’not fair Zaynie’

‘I only kissed you, now pack it in you grump’

Liam huffs slightly, then smirks and presses his mouth against Zayn’s.

‘There now we’re even, now what time is it?’

Zayn lets out a throaty chuckle. ‘You’re daft babe, good job I love ya, its 6.22’

Liam sighs and rolls onto his back away from Zayn, his fingers rub at his eyes and he yawns but he sits up and reaches for his mug.

He lifts up the mug and gestures a thanks with it to Zayn and he takes a sip. Zayn pushes himself up to a sitting position and reaches for his own mug.

They sit silently next to each other, it’s a comfortable warm silence then after a couple of sips Liam’s reaching for his phone.

Zayn takes a sip from the mug and yeah the nights have been unsettled and the days have been a mix of highs and lows.

Highs like when Oscar had found his way to the recording studio in the basement of the house, clambering up onto a chair and rested his chin on one of his knees and watched entranced as Zayn sang lyrics out to a hitherto unknown melody and then held one drumstick as Zayn held the other as they thumped some disjointed rhythm together on the drum kit and fell asleep in Zayn’s lap as he finished the song he’d been writing for weeks. 

Or when Andrea would find one of her favourite picture books and come into the living room, tapping the book on Liam’s knee as he watched TV, patiently at first and then less patient as the seconds drew by until Liam would scoop her up and initially she’d sit apart from him listening intently as Liam would read out the stories complete with the animal noises or the sound of trains or aeroplanes depending on which book it was until just yesterday she’d snuggled right into Liam and he put one arm around her so she could snuggle in even closer until she fell asleep right there. Right next to Liam.

Or all the times they played with Loki and Rhino. Oscar throwing the ball for them both or the Frisbee out in the garden and having a competition with them both as to who’d get their first causing no end of confusion for both dogs as their tormentor won each time. Or when Andrea would be playing in the house with one of her toys and Loki would come sit next to her and nuzzle her face until she wrapped her arms around him and Zayn or Liam would find them cuddled together. 

But of course it’s not all been plain sailing. Sulking. Crying. And even slapping. It all happened, still was happening but less each day though each time they thought they’d turned a corner something smacked them hard in the face again. And they understood why, you couldn’t turn round the years of uncertainty in just a few weeks. The loss of their mother and though Andrea had been so young when her mum had died, Oscar had memories. Memories that came out in drawings and pictures. It was a process, they knew. One they wouldn’t let the children go through alone, one they knew they couldn’t go through alone.

He’s snapped out of his thoughts by the heavy footsteps of Oscar and Andrea as they scamper across the landing and then they’re in the doorway of Liam and Zayn’s bedroom. Liam glances up from his phone as Oscar lets out a dramatic cough just in case Liam and Zayn weren’t paying to them.

‘What you two up to?’ asks Liam in an amused tone.

‘Nuffink’ Andrea replies. But the movement of her shoulders up and down followed by the slightest sound of a giggle give her away.

Oscar makes a shush sound and they really haven’t mastered the art of doing things subtly yet of course so Zayn and Liam watch on smirking.

But Andrea continues to giggle and its getting stronger until Oscar gently elbows her but her balance is all off and for a moment she looks like she’ll fall until Oscar reaches a hand out to the small of her back and grips onto one hand and then he’s staring up at them both.

‘We was wondering if we could watch cbeebies’  
‘I’ll go’ Liam says and makes to get up from the bed and head downstairs but before he does Oscar continues.

‘With you, we wanna watch cbeebies with you’ and as it to clarify it further and maybe Zayn and Liam’s faces are giving them away in their confusion ‘so we can snuggle’

And well, once again for any breakthrough, it’s a struggle to prevent themselves from punching the air at yet another small victory. Instead they settle for squeezing the others hand for a moment.

‘I think we can manage that’ and with that Zayn’s patting the bed and they run to the side of it as Zayn lifts Andrea up who immediately settles next to him, and then Oscar’s climbing on the bed and over Zayn and Andrea and snuggling happily into Liam who’s turned on the television and changed the channel. 

‘Yay SpongeBob’ and Zayn looks down first at Andrea and Oscar whose faces are lit up and then at his husband whose face is just as delighted as the kids’ and Zayn wouldn’t have it any other way. 

He sighs, drawing Andrea even closer in to him and his ears are probably deceiving him but the small contented sounding sigh and a couple of words which he’s definitely got mistaken are the finest sounds on earth right now, that and the murmuring as the conversation between Liam and Oscar on which is their favourite SpongeBob episode relaxes him and he drifts off into sleep.

2 hours later

The first thing he notices as he wakes up is that the small weight on his left forearm is now gone, the second thing he notices is that Liam’s not there and nor is Oscar and the third thing, well he can hardly fail to notice is the loud laughter, and music and Liam’s voice singing along.

And it’s coming from the direction of the kids’ bedroom so Zayn stretches his arms wide and sits up, the TV is turned off now and the door pulled to, presumably to prevent the noise being too loud. Zayn lifts himself off the bed, walks to the dresser and grabs a t-shirt throwing it on over himself as he opens the door, walks out the bedroom and across the landing. The noise getting louder and the laughter rising.

He pushes open the door and leans against the doorframe taking in the scene before him and there’s Oscar covered in paint, doing a dance which, well it bears no resemblance to any kind of dance Zayn’s seen before, because one moment he’s dancing around nowhere near the wall and the next moment he’s flicking his paint brush at the wall and well the wall is colourful, yeah that’s the best way to describe it. And Andrea?

Well Liam’s hoisted her on his shoulders and Andrea’s currently leaning forward with a felt tip pen drawing nothing in particular really, just squiggly lines while Liam who has a pencil draws what looks like a giraffe because hell Liam can draw and arguably he’s better at drawing animals than Zayn is and they’re singing along to nursery rhymes right now and they’re oblivious to Zayn and it’s just a scene that Zayn wants to commit to his memory for always. Just pure relaxation and joy illustrated on all of their faces, as Andrea pushes back from the wall, balancing a hand on Liam’s hair before deciding it’d be a great idea to draw on Liam’s head with her felt tip.

‘Andrea, no love’ Zayn calls because well he likes Liam’s hair the shade it is not green felt tip colour. 

‘Zaynie!!!’ And Liam’s face is light and bright. He’s still in his pyjama bottoms from earlier ‘You were fast asleep, we didn’t want to wake you so we had some breakfast and then Oscar asked if he could come draw on the wall as a surprise for when you woke up’

Zayn must look a bit taken back because Liam confirms what he just said with a simple ‘Yep’ and he sounds as delighted as Zayn feels.

‘Thanks Oscar’ and Oscar beams up at him.

‘Oscar wanted to do something nice for Baba’ and Zayn should probably get his ears tested because he’s sure that’s twice today that Andrea has called him that.

‘I did and Daddy said it was fine as long as we were quiet but then’ and there’s a dramatic pause ‘Daddy told us he used to sing in a band and then he decided to show off, and no one likes a show off do they Baba?’ 

And he feels like he should sit down as his legs feel like they don’t belong to him and his head feels fuzzy for a moment but instead he mouths the words to himself. The words he never thought he’d hear said by these children, their children. 

And then there’s a hand on his face and he opens his eyes ‘you didn’t imagine it babe’ and then he’s pulled into an embrace and in the background he hears ‘ugh daddy’ from one and ‘Baba put daddy down’ from the other and he and Liam laugh.

Perhaps this will work out. Perhaps this is how it really begins.


	6. Normality goes on like this

13th October 2018 - Liam

 

He misses Zayn, that’s all. And not to be too melodramatic about it all, he just feels like his right side has upped and gone whenever he isn’t there. And it’s stupid because he’s only been gone for 2 nights and he’s back in a couple of hours and it’s not as though Liam’s been left home alone, just him, the kids and the dogs. Karen and Geoff have come down to stay so that Liam can go off and spend some time alone in their studio or even hang out with Andy for a bit. Not that Liam needs the time away from the kids, if he had his way they’d be coming with him everywhere he went but its half term for Oscar and Andrea and him are just beginning to discover the not so noble art of annoying the crap out of each other so more than one referee is needed for those squabbles.

He pulls the phone out of his pocket and gazes at the lock screen photo. Zayn and the children on it, laughing at something. Liam can’t even remember why. They hadn’t even realised he’d taken the photo. It had been taken the day last month that the Adoption Order was granted and the moment Andrea and Oscar were formally theirs. 

In days gone by, major news would’ve been celebrated with champagne and a cigar or two perhaps and out clubbing till 4am. A month ago it was celebrated with chicken nuggets and chips and a date with a Despicable Me movie marathon on the TV and Liam didn’t miss the old days one bit.

Well perhaps some times, but each time he did go out in the evening, be it with Andy and Zayn with family babysitting or Louis, Harry and Niall or any combination therein, he’d find himself wistfully looking at the pictures on his phone and honestly no one, certainly not Liam could’ve predicted that this would be their lives at the age of 25. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Today Liam’s holed up in the studio, they’ve promised not to do any music in terms of releasing it or any promo and all Liam does occasionally is post a little sneak peak of some of the music he’s been working on while Zayn posts a pic of the paper on which he’s written some lyrics.

And this release, this lack of pressure on their music is the first time in 8 years they’ve not felt the hand of management or their label on them, sure their label keeps some level of control and wants to be satisfied they’re both working on stuff and not completely resting on their laurels but it’s not as intense as before and its showing.

For a while Liam had worried that it would affect him, well them in a bad way. They’d come to accept that pressure as being normal no matter how many other musicians or music industry people would tell them repeatedly that it wasn’t. That it was actually incredible that they’d pulled stuff like Fireproof out of the bag when under the duress they’d been. And he doesn’t like to say that at one point he was petrified that without that pressure, they’d flounder because even post the end of One Direction, Liam had felt that pressure even when his team had told him to chill out, he just couldn’t and It feels almost like it’s a thing that no one should admit to, some kind of weakness almost when it’s anything but. 

It’s actually something to be proud of and well Liam’s never been one for out and out bragging but the stuff he’s created, the stuff Zayn’s created. The whole tone is more relaxed than it was before, and yet its richness and intensity has been deepened and that sounds so fucking pretentious he knows and he’s going to need to have that thought process and those words taken right away from his vocabulary when they make their comeback but well fuck it it’s just his own thoughts right now and he can use whatever hyperbole he likes.

But yeah, they aren’t going round creating sappy love ballads for the kids, it was an unspoken rule and no no from the word go, that hasn’t prevented them both from composing little bedtime lullabies for them of course but no, their love for their children isn’t the type that anyone who listens to their albums will get to share. 

And the best part is that they’ve not even properly started, they haven’t each focused intensely on the music, if they woke up in the morning and they feel like writing, they just have to amble downstairs, get Oscar ready for school and get both the kids’ breakfast then if they fancy it they head to the studio to write, or maybe play a little and Andrea if Oscar’s at school will sit and fill in her colouring book some more or sit and chatter to Robbie the Rabbit or Loki and Rhino and it’s fair to say that what they’re living right now is heaven. Right here.

He can hear laughter from upstairs and the sound of thumps on the floor which means that Karen’s got Just Dance playing again on the PS4 and its not as though Andrea at her tender age can even dance, all she’ll do is stomp around on the floor, waving her arms and kicking her legs out and well she really is like her fathers in that sense or Zayn at the very least. 

But then from nowhere comes the sound of tears and it’s not Andrea’s tears. Inconsolable tears and he can hear his name being called and he’s dropping the pen and the papers are scattering everywhere and he’s running up the stairs and then the next flight of stairs and there’s his Dad and he’s holding something in one hand while he holds one of Oscar’s hands with the other and he’s crouched down next to him while Oscar wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. 

‘Here’s Daddy, champ’ and Geoff drops what’s in the hand not consoling Oscar into one of Liam’s and okay, panic over. And Liam whispers his thanks and kneels down next to Oscar who’s still sobbing and wiping at his eyes.

‘Come on Osc’ and he pulls his son to him. ‘It’s okay and it’s really exciting actually’

Oscar’s hand drops from his eyes and he looks at his Dad as if he’s grown two heads suddenly but he doesn’t say anything.

‘You see, you’re a very special little boy, and you’ve got magic teeth’ he holds out his palm where Oscar reaches out to touch the tiny white tooth but Liam closes his fingers over his palm as he does. 

‘Thing is mate, once the tooth fairies decide that your teeth are the ones they need to send to create all the magic and to put in all of the mouths of all the superheroes when they’ve been in a fight, its bad luck to try and touch it’

He’s winging it really and he’s just glad Zayn isn’t here laughing at him and he half expects when he looks up from his closed palm that Oscar will be glaring at him but instead he’s staring open mouthed.

‘Superheroes?’ The amazement on his face echoed by his words. ‘Really daddy?’

‘Really, and you know what the best bit is and you need to shut your eyes for this bit mate’ and he waits expectantly for his son to close his eyes ‘honestly love, you’ll miss the best bit if you don’t shut your eyes really tight’ 

And Oscar does. Letting Liam swiftly dig into one of his jeans pockets and he finds what he needs there. 

But he gets the feeling he needs to do something a bit special here so he makes a whooshing noise and then a low whistling and then well he’s at a loss so the best he can come up with is ‘Izzy whizzy let’s get busy’ Quoting Matthew Corbett to a 6 year old who’s never heard of Sooty and Sweep probably isn’t his finest idea but actually perhaps its unintended genius precisely because Oscar doesn’t have the slightest clue who they are. 

And then he’s whispering into Oscar’s ears and he shudders slightly. ‘You can open them now’

And the tooth that was in one palm is now gone as Liam holds it open but now the other is closed and Oscar’s eyes dart between the two.

‘They wanted me to tell you how grateful they were for your tooth Oscar, and they wanted me to give you something to say thank you because they know that your tooth will suit only the best superhero’ 

‘Really?’ 

‘Yeah mate, to get your reward you just have to tap my fingers 6 times but slowly’

And Oscar’s biting his lips with concentration as he taps the fingers closed on Liam’s palm slowly and with each tap after the first one, he opens each finger until all that’s resting on his palm is a shiny £2 coin.

‘Daddy, but did the fairies send that for me?’ 

‘I guess so mate, when there was all that noise, they made me close my eyes and when I was allowed to open them, it was there’ 

There’s the noise of laughter behind him suddenly and it’s not just one person’s laugh but as he turns around, his mum’s there and her hand’s over her mouth and there’s Geoff and he’s shaking his head but there in the middle, mirth lighting up every feature of his face is Zayn and he’s holding Andrea who’s looking between her parents and then suspiciously at her brother and the shiny object which is now resting on his own right palm and which he’s staring at with complete reverence and adoration.

‘Why don’t I get a shiny thing Baba?’ 

‘Because your teeth are special, right Daddy and I’ve got a great idea, why don’t we all go downstairs and put Oscar’s shiny reward somewhere safe and then Daddy can tell us all about the stories of the tooth fairies and all the superheroes in the land’

‘Yay Daddy please can we?’ And Liam wonders if he could get away with quietly wringing Zayn’s neck and whether a court in the land would even jail him. 

Zayn sets Andrea down and she climbs her way down the stairs while Oscar shouts ‘Last one down the stairs is a ninnie’ and Andrea’s asking ‘what’s a ninnie Nanny?’ 

And Liam can’t prevent the smile from reaching his face but then he’s facing Zayn on the stair above him ‘I fucking missed you Zed but now you’re going to pay as I make this the longest story in history and you won’t get that welcome home present from me any time soon’ and he’s biting his lip as he walks past Zayn not taking his eyes from him until he does.

‘Fuck’ is all he hears and he laughs. Life is good like this.


	7. They celebrate like this

6th June 2019 

Zayn looks out onto the garden, takes in all the people there, so many familiar faces, so many important people in their lives and behind him too. With some of the very most important people behind him in the kitchen right now. 

Liam attempting to finish off the butterfly cakes under the not so careful ministrations and ‘help’ if you can call it that off not only Oscar and Andrea and Brooklyn who’s taken to them just like they were her own brother and sister, but a certain Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles. While Niall busies himself in the corner making and preparing the cocktails and mock tails with Caroline helping him out while making him laugh loudly every few seconds. . 

‘For the final time you two, can you *cough* bugger *cough* off and let me and the experts finish please’

‘That’s the last time I offer to help you Payno you ungrateful T word’ and he can just picture Louis’ face as he says those words. 

‘What’s a T word Uncle Louis?’ asks Andrea. 

‘It’s a turnip APZ’ Harry’s nickname for Andrea is APZ. Her name and her parents’ names. Because well its Harry isn’t it?

‘Daddy’s a turnip?’ and next all Zayn can hear is laughter. And he moves away from the French doors and into the kitchen putting on his best angry dad voice.

‘Have you quite finished corrupting my children Louis?’ 

‘Not even started yet Malik’ 

And bloody hell, it feels good to be here, all of them together. Louis and Harry have come back to live in the UK semi permanently at least for now, ready themselves to settle down with children. Niall splits his time between his homes in Melbourne and London, juggling the demands of his burgeoning solo career while trying to see his girlfriend Lauren in LA as much as he can. 

They all look good, Harry’s hair the closest it’s been to looking like his 2010 version in years. Louis’ hair transforms from scruff to suave to sexy in moments and he’s as Peter Pan like as he ever was and Niall, well no longer any remnants of the young boyish Niall. His natural brunette isn’t hidden behind any blond any more. He’s comfortable in his own skin, they all are.

And it’s been too long since they were all in the same room together. And yet the moment they’d all got here, it felt as natural as it ever did. 

Today marks a year since Andrea and Oscar moved to this house and spent their first night with Liam and Zayn as their parents. Next week is when they kick off their careers again and in 6 months they’re moving out to LA. The word ‘permanent’ hasn’t been uttered yet except late at night in bed when they both think it and they’re holding on.

Liam’s said so many times that it’s felt like a whirlwind that the whole year, that every moment since 2016 has been like a brilliant blur. . And he voices it every so often that how can their lives ever be better than they’ve been since 2010. How can anything in their lives be anything other than a bit of an anti-climax now and he doesn’t mean it regarding the children because every day brings something new, and bloody hell that sounds so trite but it’s true. 

And yet, there’s this dull ache sometimes in both their stomachs like nothing can live up to what they’ve lived before now. 

And yet. There’s Grammy’s to be won, multiple solo and duo number one albums to be achieved. Ivor Novello awards to snap up. And if Liam and Zayn were betting types well they’d never bet against themselves. 

And then there’s these the five of them. It’s never been something they’ve actually spoken of. The thought far away from their heads as they lived their lives. And it’s not even something that feels right now. Perhaps it never will.

He takes a look around him, at each of these people. And then turns behind him to where Preston, Paddy, Paul, Basil and some of the others bodyguards are deep in conversation and then in the garden Sandy, Josh, Jon and Dan and their respective families are all doing their best impression of dad dancing with Dan doing the shittest attempt at a moonwalk ever.

Ruth’s sat in the hall with Charlotte her baby daughter while Ruth makes funny faces and Yaser and Karen are stood by the stairs talking. And literally wherever his eyes take him, there are people who’ve all played a part in his life.

But it’s right back behind him where they’re all crowded together like they always were and it never was him before but he’s certain what he wants right now so he gets the iPhone out and he shouts above the noise.

‘Lads’ and they all look at him and at the phone ‘Old times sake?’ 

No one says a thing. And first Zayn takes a pic of them all. Caroline, Brooklyn, Andrea, Oscar, all 5 of them too. And it’s a photo that no one will get to see.

And then Caroline’s gently pulling the children away and it’s the 5 of them again, just them. Everything’s changed and yet it’s all remained the same. 

The photo is taken and he loads up his Instagram and ponders a caption and then he nods and types it in and they’re all peering over his shoulder and as he turns to face them, they all smile so he posts it, the alerts starting immediately on his phone. 

‘Reunion. Part 1 of?’

It goes round like this. They move on like this. They enjoy their lives like that.

**Author's Note:**

> Well that’s that. So out of practice with writing. 
> 
> By the way, smut writing school isn’t a thing. I wish it was. 
> 
> I know I missed a lot of stuff out that could’ve been in there including them talking to Oscar particularly about how he has 2 daddies rather than a mum and dad but I want to take lots of time with that if it’s something that’s of interest or you’d like to see more of, got lots of other ideas for one shots or extra bits or for missing scenes or things that will have happened that I could do for this story and to continue it. 
> 
> But this may also be absolute garbage so I don’t know. Thank you for reading.


End file.
